Child Arrangements After Separation: The 24 Questions Parents Ask Most Often

When parents separate, one of the biggest concerns is often what will happen to the children.

Questions around where a child will live, how often they will see each parent and what rights each parent has can quickly become overwhelming. Unfortunately, there is also a huge amount of misinformation online which can make an already stressful situation even more confusing.

The reality is that every family is different. What works for one family may not work for another. However, there are some common questions that family solicitors are asked time and time again.

This guide answers some of the most frequently asked questions about child arrangements in England and Wales and explains what parents should know when making decisions about their children after separation.

1. What are child arrangements?

Child arrangements refer to the practical arrangements made for a child following the separation of their parents. This includes where the child lives, who they spend time with and how major decisions about their upbringing are made.

The law focuses on the welfare and best interests of the child rather than the rights of either parent.

2. Who decides where a child lives?

In many cases, parents are able to reach an agreement themselves. Where agreement cannot be reached, the court may become involved and make a decision based on what is in the child’s best interests.

3. Can a child choose which parent they live with?

There is no specific age at which a child can choose where they live. However, the court may take a child’s wishes and feelings into account, particularly as they get older and more mature.

4. Is there a legal right to 50/50 custody?

No. The law does not automatically favour a fifty fifty arrangement. Instead, the court considers what arrangement best meets the needs of the child.

5. What is parental responsibility?

Parental responsibility refers to the legal rights, duties and responsibilities a parent has towards their child. It includes making important decisions about education, healthcare and religion.

6. Do mothers automatically get custody?

No. The courts do not automatically favour mothers or fathers. Decisions are based on the welfare of the child.

7. Can fathers get equal parenting time?

Yes. Many fathers have substantial involvement in their children’s lives following separation. The arrangement will depend on the individual circumstances of the family.

8. What happens if one parent refuses contact?

If parents cannot resolve issues themselves, legal advice should be sought. Mediation may help. In some cases, an application to the court may be necessary.

9. Do grandparents have rights?

Grandparents do not have automatic legal rights to see their grandchildren. However, the courts recognise the important role grandparents often play and applications can be made in appropriate circumstances.

10. Do we need to go to court?

Not necessarily. Many families successfully reach agreements through discussion, negotiation or mediation.

11. What is mediation?

Mediation involves an independent professional helping parents discuss issues and reach agreements without the need for court proceedings.

12. What if my ex and I agree on everything?

If both parents agree, formal court proceedings may not be necessary. However, it can still be useful to obtain legal advice to ensure arrangements are clear and workable.

13. Can arrangements change over time?

Yes. Children’s needs change as they grow older. Arrangements that work for a five year old may not be suitable for a teenager.

14. What happens during school holidays?

Holiday arrangements are often agreed between parents. These can include splitting school holidays or alternating special occasions.

15. Who decides about education?

Parents with parental responsibility should usually be involved in major decisions regarding education.

16. Can a parent move away with a child?

Potentially, but this can be complex. If a move would significantly affect the child’s relationship with the other parent, legal advice should be obtained.

17. Can a parent take a child abroad?

There are legal rules surrounding international travel with children after separation. It is always sensible to obtain advice before making plans.

18. What if my child does not want contact?

The reasons behind a child’s wishes should be carefully explored. Every situation is different and professional guidance may be required.

19. What happens if arrangements are breached?

Where arrangements repeatedly break down, legal intervention may become necessary.

20. What does a judge consider when making decisions?

The court’s primary consideration is always the welfare of the child. Factors can include the child’s needs, relationships, wishes and the likely impact of any changes.

21. What is a Child Arrangements Order?

A Child Arrangements Order is a court order setting out where a child lives and who they spend time with.

We have covered this in more detail in our previous article, What Is a Child Arrangements Order and When Might You Need One?, which explains when an order may be appropriate and how the process works.

22. How long does the process take?

Timescales vary significantly depending on whether agreement can be reached and whether court proceedings are required.

23. How much does it cost?

The cost depends on the complexity of the matter and whether court proceedings become necessary. Early legal advice can often help prevent issues escalating.

24. Should I get legal advice?

Every family situation is unique. Obtaining specialist family law advice can help parents understand their options, reduce conflict and make informed decisions.

Putting Children First

One of the most important things parents can remember following separation is that child arrangements are not about winning or losing.

The focus should always remain on providing stability, security and positive relationships for children wherever possible.

By working collaboratively and seeking professional guidance when needed, many families are able to create arrangements that support both parents and, most importantly, meet the needs of their children.

Written by BP Legal, a trusted family and property law firm in Leicester, led by Bhumika Parmar, solicitor, founder, former President of the Leicestershire Law Society, and trustee of Zinthiya Trust.

If you would like to speak to one of our experienced team, please call us today on 0116 253 6856 or email info@bplegal.co.uk